Last week, my husband and I decided to switch the dining room and the kid’s bedroom. This change will make the kid’s bedroom bigger so they can have more space to play in and do their activities. It is a good change. The idea sounded perfect, so we told our kids of the plan and informed them that the move will start in the morning.
“We don’t want to move to a different room!”
Surprisingly, our kids didn’t want to move. We were met with whining and constant clamors. They said they loved the room and that they were just fine in it.
After further explanations of the advantages, the 8 yr old understood, the 3 yr old agreed because, well, he doesn’t really care yet where he sleeps as long as he falls asleep with me beside him. We were left with our middle child, the 6 yr old, to deal with. He is that kind of child who will have one good point of why he doesn’t want to move, but will give you 1001 senseless reasons just so he could keep his stand and stay in the room.
At the end of the day, it is still our decision as parents that will be final. Plus, it is very obvious that our child just wanted to keep saying he didn’t want to move to keep his stand, even though he knew that to move is the better option.
Morning came and we started switching rooms. We could still hear the whining.
“Move it today, but put it back after one day, okay?”
Yeah, right. That will never happen. No way I am going to switch all these things two times in a week. My thoughts talking, wishing my child won’t hear them.
“How can he not like the idea of moving to a bigger, better room?” I thought to myself.
Once the beds and closets have been placed, my son got excited.
“Oh, it’s so cool!” He ran back and forth and raced with his brothers and finally said “I love our new room!” He appreciated it more and admitted that it was much better. Knowing my son, I knew that he’d end up loving it.
Imagine that. He’d rather stay where he was, just because he got used to it and because he was already comfortable in it.
Staying in the comfort zone
I was suddenly reminded of how we keep on complaining whenever God wants to move us to a better ‘place’ or situation. Well, sometimes, God wants to give us better opportunities by removing us from where we are and bringing us to a new environment, whether work, department, city, or country.
Just like my middle child, we ignore the benefits and advantages just because we got used to where we are. We want the idea, but hate the process of moving to a better situation that could make our lives better.
God knows we will like the better place/situation he is giving us. We just have to trust that he knows what is best for us and that we just have to see things in his perspective to understand why he is moving us to another place or why situations are changing the way they are. We have to stop going back to situations where God has already freed us from.
Sometimes, we go from being in a relationship to being single. We keep whining and complaining and blaming, not thinking that maybe it is what we need right now to focus on the things that are important.
Coping with change
Change can take many forms that can affect every part of our lives. It can happen in our family, at work, and in our relationship with others. Some changes involve happy moments like giving birth, new friends or relationships, and new possessions–these are good welcoming changes. Others however, involve sad moments like death, divorce or illness which can bring pain. Some changes are sudden, such as losing your job while others happen at a slow pace such as entering middle age or simply aging.
Though change can be good or bad, it totally depends on the person and the situation if the outcome will be good or bad as well. People say that too little change can make life boring, while too much change can be overwhelming.
The key to coping with change is to get control of our response to it as much as possible. That’s when adjusting our attitude towards change can help. Here are some principles of change that can help us prepare our mindset the next time a big change happens in our life.
How to Deal with Change:
There is nothing as permanent as change. Change is something that will always happen whether to people, situation, or nature. We have to embrace that things are always changing. To reject change is to reject the process of how life works. Stop fighting change, deal with it. Face it and make the necessary adjustments to adapt to the change happening. Once we face it, we will see ourselves getting more matured and flexible in life. Tougher, to be exact.
Expect change to happen anytime
The greatest protection from change is to EXPECT it to come anytime. Who knew pandemic was coming? No one knew, but everyone was aware that tough times come to people. In time of abundance, saving is what is to be done. We always hear this from financial advisors. To always save, have emergency fund so when crisis or emergency happens, there’s something to get. That is preparation for the ‘winter’ times of our lives. Expect change to happen anytime. Be prepared for it.
Good change can also cause stress
Getting into a relationship, marriage, having a baby, kids going to school, our sons and daughters getting married- these are all good things, but they can also cause stress. Don’t expect that stressful moments only happen during bad changes. No, good and bad changes both bring stress. The only difference is that in good change, there is hope that a reward awaits, that after all the stress is happiness. That same mindset should be applied when not so good changes seem to happen in our lives.
When we lose a job for example, stop blaming God for it, start thanking him for the opportunity to apply for a better one. Be excited at the thought that this will be our opportunity to ask for a better salary, choose a different position, or maybe pursue something that we really want. When things like this happen, apply the same mindset in good changes by expecting happiness at the end of the road.
Do the things we regularly do
Do we exercise everyday? How about walking around the block? Or maybe we like watching sports on Friday nights? Keep doing the things that we do regularly. Don’t drop everything because of the changes that are happening to us. Having some things that stay the same keeps us stable and not be depressed. Some people stop doing the things they love when great changes come and they end up being a couch potato or a very unproductive person ending into loneliness and depressed state. When change happens, do those things we regularly do, especially those things that we love doing. It helps our mind and body active.
Be ready to do something new
Unplanned change is called a crisis. Don’t worry, because crisis brings out creativity. Drastic changes require drastic decisions resulting to drastic measures. Once great changes happen, be prepared to be strong enough to make decisions that could cause us to make changes in our lives.
Minimalism, for example, has done its major wave the past years and people who have decided to start living a minimalistic lifestyle decided to declutter and remove a lot of things in their house. Was that bad? Not at all. They felt they needed a change, they decided on it, and they made the necessary changes needed to support their decision.
Getting married? Big changes can come after that. We have to start being conscious of the way we treat and talk to the opposite sex, why? Because proper measures must be done to support our decision to be committed to someone.
Identify what we can and cannot control
Identify which areas are out of our hand and focus on the ones that we can control. Make the necessary actions. When it is raining, we can get angry at the rain all we want, but we can never change the fact that it is raining. What we do is face the sudden change of weather and use our umbrellas.
We’ll get disappointed if we focus on the things we cannot control. Changes happen and some consequences are uncontrollable , but we choose whether the change can bring out the worst or the best in us. It can bring out the best in us once we chose to focus on the things we can do something about rather than going through life blaming everything and everyone-which are the ones that we can’t control. Learn when and where to let go or take control.
Resist the “Victim Mentality”
When we are out there in the sea and a storm happens, we have three mentalities to choose from: the victim, survivor, and the navigator.
A victim will say “Oh, no! I surely will drown!” – This person shows no hope and no plan to survive at all.
A survivor will say “I’m sure I will live! I don’t know how, but I will survive.” – This person shows hope, but no clear plan of surviving. He leaves his chance of survival to someone else.
A navigator will say “I can’t control the storm, but I can control my boat. I will keep rowing as far away from the storm if possible. If the storm overturns the boat, I will keep swimming until I reach a land.” -This person shows hope, with a clear plan of how he will get himself out of the storm.
Same thing when change happens. We can choose which type of mentality we want to use. The victim with no hope and no plan. The survivor with a hope, but no clear plan, or the navigator with a hope and a clear plan on how to survive.
We should apply it the next time sudden changes happen in our business, life, health, or even relationships.
Are you in the middle of a big change in your life right now? I hope this post has helped you get your balance and keep your cool. Don’t panic, think straight and think right during sudden changes. Remember that change is inevitable, but how you face the change that is happening will determine the outcome of the days to come.
Here’s a video I made on How to Deal with Change on Youtube:
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